Your shirt has been reserved for the next 15 minutes!

00
Hour
00
Minute
00
Second

Coffee First.
Human Second.

Squatch Mode — Caffeinated

$28.88
$35.99

Some people wake up bright and cheerful.

Good for them... Weirdos.
 

The rest of us need coffee before words, decisions, eye contact, or pretending to be normal in public.
 

This shirt is for anyone who runs on caffeine, bad sleep, and the quiet hope that today does not require small talk.

Size
Only 3 Left
OUT OF STOCK
Restock soon! PREORDER NOW
Hurry! BUY NOW

Only 3 Left

Quantity

You Know Someone Who Needs Coffee Before They Become A Person.

Maybe it’s you.


Maybe it’s your wife, your buddy, or the human-shaped storm cloud standing near the coffee maker.

 

Either way, Squatch gets it.

 

This non-decaf drip is for the caffeine-dependent creature who starts the morning half-alive, grabs a cup, and slowly returns to society one sip at a time.

Printed in the USA

Soft, comfortable fit

Made for coffee lovers and morning zombies

Perfect for work, errands, and caffeine runs

A painfully accurate gift for coffee people